Money is a touchy topic for most of us. We don’t like to talk about money, we don’t like to think about the money we certainly don’t like to ask for it from other people-yet we really want it, and we want it pretty bad.
What’s that all about?
There are many reasons why money is so widely misunderstood in our society and why an infinite number of us are struggling and craving for more of it. Our relationship with money is often a one of lack, scarcity, dishonesty, limitation, hate and this leaves us feeling unfulfilled and stuck in our lives.
Our relationship with money is often a one of an enemy. Or one of a stranger.
If money is an enemy we see it as a necessary evil that we need to tolerate and obey to. We might feel that all we ever do in life is pay our rent/mortgage and bills. We get exhausted, burned out, unhappy. At times we try to get a different job hoping that this is the solution just to discover a few months later that we are falling into the same pattern of dissatisfaction.
How about us who relate to money as to a stranger? We might not really know much about money except that it goes out more easily then it comes in. We have a general idea of the quantity we earn and how much we need in order “to get by”, still we often get surprised and panicked when the month is approaching its end and we are running out of “ways to afford stuff”. This happens over and over and yet the “element of surprise” somehow remains.
No matter what your relationship with money entails there is but 1 crucial question you can ask yourself- Is the way I relate to money working for me, it is healthy, satisfying, energising, enriching?
If your answer is yes then please stop reading this blog post and go enjoy life you lucky bastard.
If you are like, hmm, I guess no, well it could be worse. Or no I hate money, it shouldn’t exist. Then what I suggest you do is this:
GET TO KNOW MONEY
Allow yourself to get acquainted with this inevitable energy that flows in and out of your life on daily basis. Get curious about what it means and what it brings to you. After a while you’ll be able to befriend it and who knows maybe the two of you can even start a romance.
Some ideas of how this can happen can be found in the book “Money the Love Story” written by Kate Northrup. The ideas shared in the book are common knowledge but put in a powerful context designed to inspire you to get a handle on your financial situation.
Ok, so I suggested you to learn more about the value, meaning, story and the patterns behind your past and present financial circumstances.
Where to Start?
Start by visiting your money at it’s home- by this I mean your Bank Account. If you have more than 1 then either decide which one is the HQ or make multiple visits. During your visits start observing “your money’s domestic behaviour”.
See it as a potential partner you are considering to get emotionally involved with?
Evaluate your money according to core qualities you would like to experience in a life companion:
- Is your money mature enough, or is it wasted on something that’s not worth its value?
- Is your money open and willing to grow, or it’s limited in amount and tends to stagnate?
- How about respect and integrity? Does it bring in what really matters instead of going for instant gratification?
- Does it have empathy and affection? Is it enabling entertainment, pleasure and self-care for the nourishment and well-being of its creator?
If you find that your money wouldn’t be a perfect partner that’s ok cause you aren’t a perfect partner yourself. There is no such thing. It’s just a story we made up as humans to harbour false hope and avoid responsibility.
Now that you spend some time looking at your bank account in order to get to know your money better it is time to invite it on a date with the intention to show it some love and gratitude.
I mean this literally. It’s not meant to be some symbolic short story meant to entertain you but an actual real life date.
Real Life Date with Your Money
Do what you have to do to make it romantic. Light a candle. Wear your special underwear, play Bruno Mars on YouTube if you have to. Make sure it is “date like” cause you’ll need the atmosphere to set you in the mood.
Now that all is ready. Got to your bank account and open your transaction history showing at least the last 30 days. Take a moment to observe what money did each and every day of the past month. Pause especially at the items on which money was spent and ask yourself what kind of value did this “spending” brought to your life?
Did it enable you to sleep in a cosy bed when the storm was raging outside? Did it provide for a hearty meal with your close friends the day you were discussing important life decisions? What about that gym membership that enabled you to have a stronger and healthier body? Did money have something to do with that?
Chances are you’ll discover that money brings a lot of value to your life and that you letting it go for that value is just you saying “THANK YOU FOR ALL THE BLESSINGS I ALREADY RECEIVED”.
If we hate spending money and we think it’s unfair that we have to part from our earnings, what we are saying is I don’t appreciate enough what I have in my life and I want more. But how can we ask for more if we don’t appreciate what we have? If that’s the case –how can we justify needing more?
Go for Gratitude
The point of this whole article is my promise to you that if you get to know your money better and see what kind of value it brings to your life daily you will grow to be grateful for it. By being grateful you will respect and cherish your money more and likely spend it in a wiser manner and opening up for creating more of it in your life.
This will improve your relationship money to the point that you can even start falling in love. All it takes is 1 date.
Isn’t that how all happy couples begin their journey together?